Focus

Maybe I am trying to do too much. I mean maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself to do things. I need to just relax and not stress out.

I think I really am going to try and do something each day for myself. I am going to limit computer time and have time for cleaning and taking care of myself. I know I haven't been doing that. I didn't even shower yesterday! EWWWW

My house is messy again. I am going to start by cleaning up and THEN I will focus on WW really hard.

I am also going to get some sleep because I haven't been going really early like I want. I am going to focus on me starting TODAY!

My first day on core!!!

This was not bad AT ALL. The only problem I had was I got hungry around 4:00 and didn't have any CORE snacks on hand so, I had to use point foods. but still, I made great choices!!

I also did 20 min of exercise
15 min of Tae Bo
5 min stretching

I can't wait for that scale to go down and those pants to fall off again!!!

I JOINED!!

Ok. I have ot blog this real quick. I joined online tonight!! For MYSELF!! I decided to switch to core and I think I am really going to like it! I have been reading all the materials tonight. It is now 1:49am and I have stuff to do and I need to go to bed ASAP.

To do tonight:
-Pick up toys
-unload.load dishwasher
-fold towels

I have to go get this done now!!

Points/10/24/07/Wednesday

Range: 22-29

Breakfast:
-1 1/2 c Cheerios--4 points
-milk- 1 point
-1/2 bananna- 1 point

Snack/Lunch:
-1 sl bread- 2 points
-2 slices Deli Chicken-1 point
-1 tsp mayo-0 points
-1/2 bananna- 1 point
-Crystal Light- 0 points

TOTAL USED:11 points
POINTS LEFT: 18 points

Lunch:
-Crockpot chicken tacos-3 points
-1 hard shell-2 points
-1 ww tortilla-2 points
-Crystal Light- 0 points

TOTAL USED: 17 points

Dessert:
-1 ww tortilla- 2 points
-1 tsp butter- 0 points
-cinnamon/splenda-0 points
-drizzle of chocolate-0 points
-cool whip- 0 points

POINTS LEFT: 10 points

Dinner:
-lettuce- 0 point
-chicken- 4 points
-black beans- 0 points
-taco sauce/salsa- 0 points
-cheese- 1 point
-Taco Shell- 1 point
-Fiber One Bar- 2 points
-Biscotti- 2 points

TOTAL USED: 29 points
POINTS LEFT: 0

Evening Snack:
-1 baked apple-1 point
-Cool Whip Free- 0 points
-water

TOTAL USED: 30

I went over by one point but, at least it was fruit and not junk! Well, I just ate 2 smores. They were really good and low in points but, I am not satisfied. maybe i just need to get over all this and be fat forever. I need to get myself in gear. I don't want to die young. I don't want to leave Ben and j and momma. i have to do something. i have to get control of my life somehow.

This flex points thing

Ok. I can't handle this flex points thing. I keep thinking I can eat whatever i want. I'm going back to 123 success.

DAILY POINTS RANGE: 22-29points

Tomorrow, I start this over!

POINTS--October 23, 2007/Tuesday

POINTS: 24
35 flex points

Breakfast:
-1 sl toast--2 points
-1 tsp butter- 2 points
-crystal lite- 0 points
TOTAL: 4 points

Lunch:
-1 sl bread-2 points
-1 tsp mayo- 1 point
-6 sl ham (1 serving)- 1 point
-1 cup Progresso Veggie soup- 0 points
-1 SF/FF Pudding- 1 point
-crystal lite- 0 points
TOTAL: 5 points

POINTS LEFT:24-9= 15 left

Snack:
-Yoplait Chocolate Mouse Whipped Yogurt- 4 points

POINTS LEFT: 15-4= 11 left

Dinner:
-chicken breast-1 tender- 2 points
-1 TBSP Mayo dressing- 1 point
-sweet potato fries- 3 points
-broc and cheese- 1 point
TOTAL: 7 points

POINTS LEFT: 4 points

-1 Biscotti- 2 points
POINTS LEFT: 2 points

--2 Biscotti-4 points
-1/2 wrap-0 points
-1 oz chicken-1 point
-1 tsp mayo-1 point
-1 Little Debbie- 5 points
-1 graham cracker w PB- 2 points
TOTAL: 13 points

LATE SNACK:
-1 c decaf coffee- 0 points
-1 TBSP SF Coffee Mate- 1 point
-1 Biscotti- 2 points


35-16= 19 left for the week
(Well, it wasn't as bad as i thought!!)

**************
I can't stop eating tonight! I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed w housework and tired. I need to get moving.

What Losing 10% Can Do

What Losing 10% Can Do
Article By: Sandra Gordon

Striving for your college-days weight or some other magic number on the scale can be daunting. It's much easier to reach for an incremental goal that promises sizable health benefits: Losing just 10 percent of your current body weight.


"So many projects in life are better managed by breaking them down into small chunks," says Karen Miller-Kovach, MS, RD, chief scientist at Weight Watchers International. "Weight loss is no different."

But the body you've always wanted isn't all you'll get out of accomplishing that one starter goal. Here's what else you'll gain by losing 10 percent:

A Healthier Heart
By losing just 10 percent of your body weight, you can lower your cholesterol and reduce your blood pressure, says G. Ken Goodrick, PhD, psychologist and associate professor of medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. High cholesterol and elevated blood pressure are two major risk factors for heart disease.

Lower Risk of Type 2 Diabetes
If you're overweight, you're at increased risk for type 2 diabetes, which means your body can't make enough, or properly use, insulin, a hormone that helps convert food to usable energy. By losing just 10 percent of your body weight, you'll improve your body's ability to use the insulin it makes, possibly preventing the onset of the disease, Miller-Kovach says. If you already have type 2 diabetes, shedding that 10 percent may improve your symptoms and possibly prevent complications, she adds.

More Pep
"Just a 10 percent weight loss increases feelings of vigor and vitality," says Miller-Kovach. "You'll feel better and have more energy."

A Mental Edge
Losing 10 percent can give you the self-confidence and motivation you need to keep going. "Success builds on success," says Miller-Kovach. But be sure you recognize it. "Losing 10 percent is a milestone in the journey," says Miller-Kovach. "Once you get there, take the time to congratulate yourself on your efforts."

Reality Check
After losing 10 percent, you gain a sense of what it will take to lose the rest and reach your final goal weight. "It gives you a context in terms of saying, 'Am I willing to put in that much more effort to lose even more weight?'" Miller-Kovach says. If the answer is no, that's okay. "Some people only lose 10 percent and that's it," says Goodrick. If that's you, pat yourself on the back. "Health-wise, a 10-percent weight loss is a great achievement," Goodrick says.

RECOMMITTED

I have just made my announcement on WW board that I have recommitted tonight! I know that I have already blown it today but, that doesn't mean that I cannot plan for tomorrow!

My goal:
-Lose my 10% by 12/31/07--that's down to 171

I will work on my plan tonight and post it here.

I want to do it

I want to officially join WW. I know I can do it. My goal for right now, lose 15 pounds before January 2008. My ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds by November 1, 2008 (Ben's 3rd b-day). I know I can do this. I just feel like I need some REAL support. J is not really all that suppportive. I can make better choices...I've got to, for me, for Ben...for my health.

I think tonight I will do a round of DIVA's and then figure out what/how to do this without, having to worry about ppl judging me...watching me. Without having to look at MIL and think... OMG I'm going to end up like that. I don't want to think that and I know it's mean but, I can't help it. But, she doesn't care...about herself at all and that makes me kinda feel sorry for her. That makes me feel like I cannot get back in that hole again that I was in. I have way too much at stake now.

So, this is my official confirmation--I am going to FOCUS on the good things, on ME for a change, and for the glory that God will bring, if I will trust in Him for all things in my life.

I know that He provides and wants us to be successful. I know that He is always there and He can provide a way for this to happen for me. I know that I just need a plan and determination and LOTS of hard work.

I have come to accept the fact that I will have to work harder for this than anything I have ever done and i am ready to do just that. I am ready, ready, ready!!

UPDATE:
Well, I can't officially join. I have to do this on my own adn I will.

The need to write

I keep feeling this need to write today. i am not really sure why. I think it is because I have done some things for myself this past week.

-Bought myself a new bag
-Bought myself a new book (James Patterson)
I haven't read crime novels in so long -I can't put it down
-Bought myself 2 pairs of Birks

Now, I just have to take care of myself, gotta go...bbl.

The need to write

I keep feeling this need to write today. i am not really sure why. I think it is because I have done some things for myself this past week.

-Bought myself a new bag
-Bought myself a new book (James Patterson)
I haven't read crime novels in so long -I can't put it down
-Bought myself 2 pairs of Birks

Now, I just have to take care of myself, gotta go...bbl.

I think it's REALLY time

Today I watched on the Today Show about a couple that lost over 200 pounds together. It was so inspirational. They both did Weight Watchers and eat so much better now. You could look at there old pics and see the stress on there bodies. The way they looked so tired. You could look at them now and see new people.

I took a really good look in the mirror at myself and I look tired. Old and tired. I haven't taken any meds in about 2 weeks because I am all out. I am sleepy all of the time. Not tired, but, sleepy. I don't sleep well at night anymore either. I stay up all hours because I cat nap during the day. This is not a pity party blog today. This is a get off your butt and take care of yourself blog!

So that is what I am going to do. TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!

I've been examining alot about what I eat. And wow....I eat terribly. I don't get enough nutrition and Ben is headed to be the fat kid, if something doesn't change. J is just...well... he's equally as tired and eats just as bad as I do.

We went to eat with J's parents yesterday.

Here was the menu on what everyone ordered:
-First of all his mom ordered the Combo appetizer.
-Fried cheese wedges
-Fried Chicken Tenders
-Loaded potato wedges w sour cream

--OMG so much fried stuff!! That was a heart attack waiting to happen.

What I had:
-14 oz Louisianna Sirlon w herb butter sauce (I didn't eat all of it)
-Loaded baked potato w butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon bits
-a Bowl of loaded potato soup
-2 rolls w butter
-2 bites of Ben's chicken tenders
-1 cheese wedge

Halfway through eating I started having these wierd chest pains. Like right under my bra. I could not eat another thing. It was like the food just stopped. I didn't feel anything in my stomach...it was all in my chest......I walked around feeling like that for the rest of the night. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack. I seriously thought about my body and how I was just destroying it. Also, the other night I woke up with Ben (he woke up) and was in a cold sweat and dizzy. My chest was pounding. I didn't tell anybody but, I know my blood sugarwas screwed up.


I am going to get a notebook and log everything I eat. I am going to get back on WW and JUST DO IT!
I am going to start walking. I am not sure for how long or when or where, but, I am going to. I want to show Ben how important it is to be healthy.

I will write more later. I need to get some things done.

Asparagus Salad Recipe

Asparagus SaladDiscover how the Joy Fit Club members lost 100 pounds or more!
Read the story
Joy Bauer

INGREDIENTS
• 2 pounds asparagus
• 1 pint grape tomatoes, cut in half
• 1 medium Vidalia onion, chopped
• 1 cup roasted red bell pepper, chopped
Dressing
• 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
• 2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
• 2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
• 2 tsp. dry Italian dressing mix

DIRECTIONS
Prepare dressing by combining all ingredients in a small bowl. Set aside.
Break ends off asparagus and throw away. Break asparagus spears into 1-inch pieces and steam until tender-crisp. Immediately plunge asparagus in ice water to stop the cooking process. Drain well and toss with dressing mix.

Green Beans Italiano Recipe

Green Beans Italiano
Discover how the Joy Fit Club members lost 100 pounds or more!
Read the story
Joy Bauer
3 servings


INGREDIENTS


• 1 (28-oz.) can cut green beans, drained
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 2 tsp. minced garlic
• 1 tsp. dried oregano
• 1/2 tsp. dried basil
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/4 tsp. pepper
• 1 Tbsp. olive oil or light margarine
• 2 cups fresh tomatoes (OPTIONAL)


DIRECTIONS
Note: 1 ½ tsp. of Italian seasoning may be substituted for the oregano and basil

In a large skillet, sauté onion, garlic, oregano, basil, salt, and pepper until onion is tender. Add drained green beans and tomatoes; heat through.

I have totally gone off plan!

Well, I haven't been watching anything or counting anything for about a week now. It will be about another week too because I am seriously PMSing and I am miserable!!

I've been thinking though, I have to get Ben on a schedule. It's awful...he dowesn't nap during the day (unless it's with me) and I can't stand it anymore. He hasn't been going to bed a decent time either. We are soooo getting on a schedule. I am going to get it motion soon!

DIRTY DIVAS!! SUNDAY

Round 1
START: 12:45
CHECK IN: 1:30

-put laundry away--done
-clean the bathroom--almost done
-change quilt over and wash comforter--done
-finish emptying dishwasher-done
-feed DS--done

Round 2
START: 1:45
CHECK IN: 2:30

-finish cleaning the bathroom -done
-fold sheets -done
-put sheets on the bed -done

vaccumed bedroom
put up halloween decorations
cleaned out garbage

Dirty Divas -ROUND 3

Round 3

-fold basket of laundry--will do it in the next round!
-figure something for dinner--DONE

Dirty Divas--ROUND 2

ROUND 2

-change laundry and start another load--DONE
-eat lunch--DONE
-load dishwasher--DONE
-unload dishwasher--DONE

CHECK IN TIME: 1:05

Done all on the list
Also done:
-mopped bathroom
-changed sheets in Ben's room
-emptied garbage
-wiped down kitchen counters

DIRTY DIVAS-ROUND 1

Dirty Divas-- Round 1 (no one's on so, I am doing this myself!)

Be back here at 11:35 (45min)

-pick up Ben's toys--DONE
-wipe down highchair--DONE
-fold basket--DONE
-fold clothes in the chair--DONE
-start another load--DONE

CHECK IN: EVERYTHING DONE ON THE LIST!!!

UGGGHH!

I have been off plan since last Friday. I need to get started back on but, I am about to start soon and feeling like crap. I think I will just watch what I eat and try and eat healthier this next week. Then, once it's over--it is total overhaul for my body!!!

I am excited to be feeling this way....like I can REALLY do this!!

Oooohhh, and I joined Dirty Divas on my WW board but, there is no one on there right now. So I think I will Dirty Diva myself a round for 45 min.

Saturday-October 6-points

22-29
aim for 25-27

Breakfast:
-I know I should have eaten but, Ben kept waking up and I had a monstorous headache!

Lunch:
-Sandwich
-1 svg ham- 1 point
-2 sl ww bread- 2 points
-1 tsp mayo- 1 point

Friday night

Well, I really blew it AGAIN! But, I am starting over TODAY and taking care of myself. I looked back @ my journals and I know what the problem is as to why I have been starving the last 2 days. I know now how to plan!

FRIDAY-October 5, 2007

Range: 22-29
Aim for 24-25

Breakfast:
-1 c raisin bran-3 points
-milk-1 point

Lunch:
-6 fish sticks- 6 points
-1 c sf/ff jello pudding w cw- 1 point

Dinner:
-AA Grilled Chick Salad- 6 points
-2 TBSP FF Ranch- 1 point
-3 mini corn dogs- 4 points
-1/2 baked potato-2 points
TOTAL: 23 points

-Triple Chocolate Cookie- 6 points (DON'T EAT THESE AGAIN-SICK TO MY STOMACH!)
TOTAL: 29 points

CHANGE YOUR MIND! (TOPIC #1)

I have decided to incorporate some things from Winning Points into my 123 Success strategy.

TOPIC OF THE DAY: WINNING OUTCOMES

-My winning outcome:
my short term goal: WEIGH 177 by Halloween (October 31)

How?
-I am going to follow the points system and journal, journal, journal like crazy and plan! I want to be healthy for ben and j. I want to be around for a long time and not become LAZY.

I don't want to not have the energy to do anything. I want to run around and not have aches and pains and wt issues and diabetes. I want to be a better person in all ways. I am going to achieve this and not worry about ppl watching me to screw up or what they think.

PLAN FOR TOMORROW:
-Plan the days meals (DONE!)
-Work on Water
-Fill up WW cup and put in the fridge!

THURSDAY OCTOBER 4, 2007-points

AIM FOR RANGE: 24-25 points (22-29 listed-aim for the middle)
-Can bank points to use later in the week-must be used before next weigh in

Breakfast:
-Fiber One Bar- 1 point

Lunch:
-1 cup 0 point soup-0 points
-1/2 PB&J
-1 TBSP RF PB- 2pts
-1 sl ww bread-1 pt
-1 TBSP Low Sugar Preserves- 1 point
(WATER: 1)

SNACK:
-1 graham cracker (sheet)- 1.5 points
-1 TBSP RF PB- 2 points
-0 point soup- 0 points
-Granola bar- 3 points

-1 graham craker sheet- 1.5

DINNER:
-WW Dinner: 1/2 chicken and picante- 2.5 points (DON'T BUY AGAIN!! TOO SPICY!)
-Roll- 1 point
-1 tsp butter- 1 point
-1 cup broc & cheese- 1 point
-1 SF Fudgsicle- 1 pt

SNACK:
2 graham cracker sheets- 3 points
-1 cup Raisin Bran- 3 points
-milk- 1 point
-1 cup sf/ff pudding- 1 point


TOTAL USED: 27.5 points

Wed thoughts

Wow! I just looked at some success story pics and it makes me not want to give up! I can do this...I just know it. I just need to tune everyone else out and focus on ME for a change. I am doing this for ME!!

I am not going to worry about ppl watching me...to see what i eat, what i don't eat. i don't want any comments made to me either. i am going to do it once and for all and nothing will stop me.

starting after i get well:
-WATP 1 mile walk

Wednesday- 10/3/07-points/123 SUCCESS

AIM FOR RANGE: 24-25 points (22-29 listed-aim for the middle)
-Can bank points to use later in the week-must be used before next weigh in!

Okay, so last night I really blew it. I have decided to REALLY do this. I HAVE TO!
I have decided to follow 123 SUCCESS
I don't think I was REALLY COMMITTED TO IT! I am now, especially after that shower I just took...I got to thinking and well, I don't want to write it right now!

Breakfast:
-1 decaf cup coffee- 1 point

Lunch:
-6 fish sticks- 6 points
-green beans- 0 points

TOTAL: 7 pointsSnack:
-1/2 PB&J
-1 sl bread- 1 point
-2 TBSP RF PB- 4 points
-1 TBSP Jelly- 1 point
TOTAL: 6 points

(WATER:1)
TOTAL USED: 13 points
POINTS LEFT:12 points
-100 cal pack cupcake (YUCK! Don't buy these again!)- 1 point
TOTAL USED: 14 points
POINTS LEFT: 11 points

DINNER:
-WW Lasagna Dinner-6 points
-1c SF/FF Jello Pudding w Cool whip- 1 point
TOTAL USED: 7 points
POINTS LEFT: 4 points

SNACK:
-1 WW tortilla toasted w olive oil-2 points
-2 TBSP Salsa-0 points
(WATER: 1)
TOTAL USED: 2 points
POINTS LEFT: 2 points

POINTS USED: 23
POINTS BANKED: 2

LATE SNACK:
PROTEIN: 4 sl ham- 1 point

POINTS USED: 24
POINTS BANKED: 1 point

Tues-thoughts

Well, I pretty much stayed OP today! YAY for me!! Now, I have to decide which plan I want to do. My 123 Success of switch to Winning Points. They are both very similar. I had great luck w 123.

I think I will get my stuff done and go to bed now.

Tuesday-October 2, 2007-points

22-29 points

Breakfast:
-1 sl ww toast- 1 point
-1/2 c tea- 0 points
-1 tsp butter-1 point
TOTAL: 2 points

Lunch:
-6 Fish Sticks- 6 points
-1 cup brocolli- 1.5 points
-1/2 pc corn on the cob- 1 point
TOTAL: 8.5 points
POINTS LEFT:18.5
(WATER:1)

Snack: 2 graham cracker (2 sheets)- 3 points
POINTS LEFT: 15.5 points

Dinner:
-1.5 chicken tenders- 1 point
-marinade- 0 point
-green beans- 0 points
-butter- 2 points
-rolls-4 points
TOTAL: 7 points
POINTS LEFT: 8.5 points
(WATER:1)
-100 cal pack: 1 point (I thought these would be higher!)
POINTS LEFT: 7.5 points

-Fiber One Bar- 1 point
POINTS LEFT: 6.5 points

Snack:
-1/2 c OJ-1 point
-1/2 bb nachos-2 points
POINTS LEFT: 3 POINTS

-WW Choc Chip Cookie Dough Sundae- 3 points
POINTS LEFT: 0

Well.... not a bad day

I think I will just go to bed. I just need to load the dishwasher is all and I don't feel like folding laundry-besides me and little man can do it tomorrow!

I want to read on my new book and get to sleep early!!

Oh yeah--I bought myself a new book:
"What A Girl Wants" By: Kristen Billerbeck
It's a new series that I have started. I really want to finish the Yada Yada Series too but, it just got soooo serious, I had to back away and wanted some good chick lit.

So, here is what I am currently reading:
-The yada yada prayer group- #5 (I think)
-Harry Potter- #2
-What a Girl Wants

***********************************
Books I want -I may have to make these my goal books!
Kristen Billerbeck:
Ashley Stockingdale Trilogy:
-What a Girl Wants
-She's Out of Control
-With This Ring, I'm Confused

Spa Girls Collection:
She's All That
Calm, Cool and Adjusted
A Girl's Best Friend

50 Reasons to lose weight

Here are some reasons to lose weight from my Newbies WW Borad. There are not 50 here, but I will keep adding to it for myself!

1. To feel good about myself,and live a healthy long life

2. To go shopping and not worry about what size you are going to wear.

3. To have fewer insecurities about your appearance when in social situations

4. Increased energy!

5. So I won't have to poke myself everyday to test my blood sugar.

6. So I can chase my 3 year old around without huffing and puffing and telling him to slow down

7. So my knees won't ache.

8. So my body won't ache

9. So I will be around for Ben when he grows up.

10. So I will feel better all the way around!

11. So i can shop in "normal" stores and not have to buy "granny clothes"

12. So I can be a hottie wife and hot mamma!

13. To prove to myself that I can do this!

14. To lower my cholesterol

15. To have a normal BMI range for the first time ever!

16. To sleep better

17. To prove to myself that I AM WORTH every point I count!

18. To wear a regular size and not plus size anymore

19. I can buy some new PJ's in a normal size!

20. No chest pains.

21. No heavy heart burn.

22. Maybe I won't get sick as much!

My Ultimate Black Bean Nachos

1- ww tortilla
(coated w olive oil and salt)
1- can black beans
Seasoned w Tostitos natural salsa, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder
1- left over grilled hamburger patty
-A little ff cheese on top

Pour beans and spices into pot and crumble hamburger. Toast the tortilla in the oven until crispy. Break up when done, top w black beans and bit of cheese and taco sauce if want.

POINTS: 5 (depends on if add meat and cheese)
if just beans and seasonings: 2 points
YUM!